You are not a mistake

“God will never use you.” 

Those words broke my heart. I was internally bleeding and it wouldn’t stop. 

I lived for years thinking I wasn’t good enough and that I was worthless. I felt frail and fragile and nothing could change my mind.

I had dreams of writing and sharing my story. Sharing the stories where God completely transformed my life and my marriage.

I wanted to do then, what I’m stepping out to do now. 

Those words destroyed my belief that God could use me. 

Wrong words tore me up inside and I couldn’t believe that God had a purpose for me.

I believed that my mess was louder than His grace. 

I had stopped focusing on what God had done and what He called me to do and I had a magnifying glass on what someone else thought I’d never be. 

I wasted time and years, not a week guys…YEARS. I allowed hurtful words to ruin me.

I  have learned so much from painful things. I grow best in soil that has been tilled up. 

When I garden, which is really never haha, I do know I have to get in there with my hands and a hoe and dig up the soil to loosen the weeds that took root, dig those suckers out and then plant the seeds that can now have a healthy space to settle in, take root and grow (I’ll stop with the illustration because people who actually know about planting things will see through me).

Quite often, I feel like the Lord has taken up gardening as a hobby when it comes to me. He finds all the weeds and roots and gets his fork tool thing and goes to work pulling out all the ugly weeds parading as plants.

If the Lord didn’t do that, if He didn’t show me what I need to work on and get rid of, then I would be stagnant and not thriving. I wouldn’t have room to grow because all the gross stuff would be there. The beautiful things would get choked out. 

I had to let Him into my hurt, I had to let it go and forgive. I had to do that and then start believing I have something to offer. I had felt invisible for so long. Invisible at home, at church and probably insulted the Lord on many occasions because when I looked in the mirror, I didn’t believe what He created was good. 

God doesn’t make mistakes. 

Mama, let me tell you. You are made for a purpose. You have a calling and I don’t want what someone said about you to override or hijack God’s plan for your life. 

He’s equipped you and given you all you need.

I gave away years that I could’ve been doing what I love. What I feel passionate about.  I believed that no one would want to hear me and that someone else would say it better, or write it better. 

Why is it easier to believe lies over what is true? Maybe because what is true requires work. What is true takes sacrifice. Lies are lazy and  lifeless. 

What I pray is this…That you discover your worth in the Lord. He is the one who knows you fully. That when someone says something about you, you’ll compare it to what heaven says about you. 

You don’t have to be perfect to be used by Him. You don’t have to feel ready or have your life all figured out to be used by Him.  ‘AHEM’ CLEARLY!!! Exhibit A: THE SALTY MOTHERHOOD hahah…I’m just going for it because it took me a really long stinking time to get here. 

Now I’m good. If someone doesn’t like what I write or what I say, I’m totally ok with that…it might sting for bit, but slap a bandaid on it, laugh it off and I’ll keep going.

God called me, my friends believe in me, my husband is cheering me on and I’m doing this to honour Him. That’s all I need.

God has equipped you for what He assigned to you. 

If you are called to be a stay-at-home mom , do that with excellence, knowing you are called.
If you are called to be a homesteader, then homestead like no one ever homesteaded…knowing God will use your life. 

If you are called to teach…then I pray that those kids will feel Jesus in the classroom. 

If you are called to write that book…then I can’t wait until people read it. 

Ephesians 1:11

Through our union with Christ we too have been claimed by God as his own inheritance. Before we were even born, he gave us our destiny, that we would fulfill the plan of God who always accomplishes every purpose and plan in his heart.

Don’t get sidetracked. I believe that this is a very special time when people are called to create, build and to do what God has called them to do.

There will be favour on your life as you partner with the Lord.

There will be people that don’t like it, unfollow you, and talk about you. It's okay, those are not your people.

Bless them and move on. You will find your people. I have.

Be a horse that wears blinders, a horse wearing blinders can only see what is in front of them. Nothing stops them from being focused on the destination. Blinders help the horse from getting spooked or distracted by the crowds. 

I’m cheering for you.

P.S. I’m so thankful to be past the hurt of those words, it bound me up for so long and it was awful. But also thankful for going through it because I’m stronger now. God is really faithful to bring me out of pain and into freedom. 

Don’t stay stuck in hurt and pain. I can tell you from experience that when you stay stuck, everything stays stuck.

The world needs what you carry.

Love you ,

MM