What we leave behind
What we leave behind….its the eternal and less often material things that matter. It’s in the moments we are creating today and tomorrow. The moments , morals and memories
All of our yesterday’s adding up to a childhood of memories. A photo album in our hearts of moments with family , waking up seeing our parents sipping coffee , reading the word. Worship music playing in the living room , dance parties while doing dishes. Wrestling matches and pillow fights. Daddy daughter dates and hunting trips with boys.
What feels like ordinary things are all the things that build a life together , starting out as moments, ending up as memories. .
All the traditions, meals cooked and eaten together , all the morals taught and memories shared that will shape our children. We create an environment and atmosphere inside the bustling walls of our home. We teach how to react to pain and anger. We teach by what comes out of us when we are pressed on all sides , shaken and stirred. The way we either praise or panic when life hits like an oncoming vehicle.
The way we fight, and the way we fight for each other. The way we stand firm on convictions and all the times we show grace and mercy , because we’ve felt grace and mercy first hand by a loving father in heaven.
I can hear my childhood through the way I now parent. It’s an echo of my history.
Things like:
“Do it right the first time and you won’t have to do it a second time.”
“Help someone with no expectations of anything in return.”
All of the lessons, wisdom, experiences and stories. All shared to shape me.
Their life poured the foundation on which we now build.
I can still hear:
“Leave a place better than how you found it.”
“When you borrow something, return it in better condition.”
‘Lend money with no expectation of getting it back.”
“Work hard.”
“Help people in private.”
The lessons followed me through the years.
Stories I heard as a little girl, I now tell to mine.
I didn’t see it when I was young. I didn’t know that when I watched my father work hard for our family, I was quietly being taught through illustrations how my husband should provide for our future family. It wasn’t announced as a lesson, yet it was. So much of how we are, what only our children see at home, how we spend our time, scrolling or being intentional, will shape them. They take notice and they take notes, all part of their story. We are part of the chapters they write, part of the chapters their children will one day read.
I saw my father learn anything, chase his dreams, come from nothing, later to be known as something.
I learned that I too, can dream. I didn’t know that what my father was teaching me was something being stored for later. Like a file folder, I’d pull from it as I grew older. Categories of where faith met impossible, and God provided.. not just loaves but fish on doorsteps to hungry mouths. I know the stories , I know the hard times and struggles. I know each title of each chapter.
We have incredible input. We have great influence.
We have sway and swagger.
We shape and mould with our words, whether they are kind or mean. We can parent with patience or lack thereof. We can make ordinary things the most special and we have the power to ruin what should have been special. What could have been monumental , can be tragic if what we’ve been taught is to overreact and not have grace. I have been guilty of such things. I’ve seen tempers being lost , it came easy to lose mine. I’m thankful for Holy Spirit. I’m thankful my kids hear my sorry and forgive quickly.
We will always carry luggage…those of ruined moments , mixed in with sweet times. My goal is to make the suitcases of my children light , not burdensome. Sometimes it will be necessary to unpack … and decide what to take on the journey and figure out what you’ve outgrown.
We have this beautiful partnership with a Heavenly Father, who never gets it wrong. I’m not quite sure how mothers and fathers do this job without the Lord. I rely on his goodness and correction daily. It is necessary for our family….it is crucial to what I want to leave behind….
God is a good father. Patient. Kind.
He’s not in a bad mood. (to be honest, when I first heard that , my life changed. I had no grid for a God that wasn’t upset with me) (I always felt like I was about to get in trouble.) (Like I was a disappointment….) God’s word is a salve for such wounds. Not a bandaid , it heals wounds because it seeks out roots.(that is probably a whole other devotional) ❤️
God doesn’t yell, push away, condemn or criticize.
God fills the gaps of what went missing.
God mends broken hearts - yours, mine and those of our kids. We hurt because we were hurt.
Oh God, please allow me to demonstrate how forgiveness frees. Help me teach my kids that forgiveness is a key to prisons.
Oh, how I love that I can lean on what He left behind in His word. I know I can lean because I watched a father who knelt.
What if we learned from Heavenly Father the same way?
What if we learned by what He left behind?
What if we watched, knelt, leaned and learned?
I want, oh how I desperately want my flaws to not have influence but how I dealt with them to be the greatest lesson.
If I stay bitter, I leave behind bitter.
I have done a lot wrong as a mom. I have made unfair judgements and misled calls. I have lived with regret at times and feared that my mistakes would far outweigh the good. I have come to a point though, that God actually removes guilt and shame - its not my uniform anymore.
I serve a gracious Father and because of that, I learn to be gracious. We live and we learn, but we do need to lean on Him.
Leaving a legacy happens now, tonight even
If you need to change a few things, then start.
Change.
You’re not too late Mama to change course.
Course correction is one of my strengths as a mom. I’m highly aware when I have fallen short. If I need to go to my child, say sorry and ask for forgiveness , I do.
I know they will pick up where I leave off b/c I have shown them throughout the years that I’m imperfect but I’m humble. Its one of the things I will leave behind when I go.
Some of my favourite things the Lord left behind in His word:
Ephesians 6:6
Always do what is right and not only when others are watching , so that you may please Christ as his servants by doing his will.
Ephesians 6:7
Serve your employers wholeheartedly and with love , as thought you were serving Christ and not men.
(Don’t steal office supplies or show up late to work, SERVE your employers, SERVE people with love. Don’t embarrass your family - set a high standard.)
Ephesians 6:1
Children , if you want to be wise , listen to your parents and do what they tell you, and the Lord will help you”
(This may or not be on my fridge, haha)
Philippians 2:3
Don’t allow self-promotion to hide in your hearts, but in authentic humility put others first and view others as more important than yourselves.
Legacy is what we leave behind and what they carry forward. I don’t want my kids picking up the broken pieces of my heart, I want wholeness to carry them in this broken world.
We all get to ask ourselves….
What am I leaving behind?
What do I need to change to do that?
Gosh, our kids are worth it.
God chose you to be their mama and you have sway.
Praying for you Mama , tonight, as I write this to encourage you to lean on Jesus. I know I can’t parent on my own, I need the Lord. I need him to soften my tongue. I need His wisdom. There are things I want to take and carry from my childhood, some I will leave behind and God knows the difference.
Thankful for parents who taught me well, lessons to last a lifetime, they weren't perfect, and it wasn’t without heartbreak but it was always pointing me toward Jesus.
Love you
MM